Cram it up your Cramhole, LaFleur!
Important life events come in all shapes and sizes. Some are positive developments and some make you weep. However, almost universally you will remember where you were at the moment you learned of said event. This is no different in the world of sports. Basement of the Chi Psi house at Washington and Lee University when I heard that Buster Douglas beat Mike Tyson. Temple Bar in Dublin when I realized the Red Sox had come back from a 0-3 deficit to beat the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS. And a wine bar on the Upper West Side of NYC when I heard that the Packers had hired Matt LaFleur as their new head coach. My immediate thoughts were 1) who is this guy and 2) why am I always drinking when something important happens in sports. I then texted my brother with the following question – “Did the Packers just hire a hockey player as their head coach?”. I did a little research on LaFleur and was not happy with what I found. Sure, he was the OC for the Rams, but the Packers talent level is not nearly that of the Rams. Even though I am a Packers fan, I would take Jared Goff for the next five years over Aaron Rodgers, but that discussion is for another blog. LaFleur’s stint with the Titans was uninspiring at best. Both Dion Lewis and Derrick Henry were misused for large portions of the season and this worries me with the mess that was the Packers’ backfield this year. Plus, the Packers remain in sore need of defensive improvement and this guidance will not come from LaFleur. Needless to say, by the time I went to bed Monday night, I was in a depressed mood.
However, something magical happened Tuesday morning. I realized that the NFL season next year won’t be a washout for Packers’ fans like myself. Sure, the Pack will likely go 5-11 and the offense may be unusable from a fantasy standpoint, but there is a silver lining. Think about all the Dodgeball quotes we all will be able to use. Matt Lafleur’s name is close enough to Peter Lafleur’s to break out the timeless Dodgeball references. If you are a sports fan and a comedy fan and have not seen Dodgeball, you are doing it wrong. Immediately drop what you are doing and go watch it. I am pretty sure it is on every night on ESPN 8 the Ocho. So, in honor of new coach LaFleur, here are the top quotes you will likely hear during Packers’ ganes next year.
1) Cram it up your cramhole, LaFleur!
2) You look awful fat in those pants.
3) I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
4) It’s a bold strategy Cotton, but let’s see if it pays off for ‘em.
5) Thank you Chuck Norris.