Dartboard Challenge! (NBA edition)
First edition of Rotogrinders Dartboard Challenge! (NBA edition)
Sponsored by Los Pollos Hermanos™ – The finest fast food restaurant in Albuquerque.
It happens every day, [Insert high volume player] wins a contest with a wonky lineup and the forums fill up with comments such as “Anyone could throw a dart at random players and win” or some variation.
Well here at the JimmyQ institute for DFS mediocrity (Creators of the successful daily fantasy book How to turn $500 into $5 in DFS) wanted to put this bold statement to the test, and test it we shall. So after many seconds of deliberation, we have created this exciting new feature which we hope will entertain you for years to come.
The plan is simple, each session we will enter a contest using only players that have been selected with a dart throw. If we happen to make money (fat chance), we will then enter the next highest contest hoping to cash out when we cash in the highest entry fee contest available. If we happen to lose the first contest (most likely scenario) we will regroup and enter another using the same method.
We have no idea how long this challenge will run (probably this will be the first and last), but we here at the institute felt it would be a good study and help break the monotony that is daily fantasy sports.
So without further adieu, here are the rules:
1) We will be using the Bottelsen Hammer Head Gorilla Grip 234GGBK Tough Koat 23 Gram Dart for throwing. (Only the finest for our contest!)
—Made in the USA! Bottelsen’s Gorilla Grip knurl offers the strongest grip on Planet Earth! This extra coarse knurl gives the dart thrower maximum grip for a powerful and uniform release. ($180)
-We feel that using this dart will give us 108.5% accurate results in our NBA selections. (We recommend if you are playing at home™)
2) We also will be using the Everwhite Narrow Aluminum Framed Cork Bulletin Board; 4’ H x 12’ W as our play-field in which to hold the players cards. (This is only $850 on sale, but again it will insure the most accurate results ).
3) The players will be placed on the bulletin board. Each player will be listed on a separate 3×3 inch post-it note based on position. (color coded as follows)
Blue for point guards (NBA royalty), Pink for shooting guards (Princesses of the NBA), Green for small forwards (All they want is the cash), Yellow for the power forwards (Seemed appropriate), and plain boring White for the center position (Again, appropriate). ($9)
Total monies invested at this point is $ 1,039.00 (This seems excessive, but you only live once)
4) We will list all starters, reserves and non injured personnel in equal rows leaving the same distance between each note. (This insures fair play)
5) The thrower shall stand 7 ft 9 1⁄4 in (2.36855 m) from the face of the bulletin board, measured horizontally. This is the recognized world standard as set by the World Dartboard Challenge Federation and is used in most areas.
6) The thrower will then make his toss (starting at the point guard position) and record the results. He will them move on to the next position when finished with the prior.
The thrower cannot go over the total budget needed, but must record the first initial throws regardless of the cost. (We cannot have 5 studs at 11k each, but we could end up with 9 players at $3500 each)
If the thrower goes over budget, he must remove the last player chosen and re-throw to meet the budget. (Any under budget selections must stand)
7) The thrower then enters this award winning lineup into the contest of his/her choosing. For our purposes we will be initially entering the lowest dollar entry contest on Fanduel™.
The thrower then sits back and collects the CASH as he watches his scientifically proven lineup dominate the competition!!
These rules are not binding so feel free to adjust to fit your play at home version™.
The first event will be…..
Fanduel $30K Friday NBA Dribbler (Single Entry) – 1/13/17
We begin the experiment with this simple single entry contest. (on Friday the 13th no less)
Our thrower sets himself behind the line, the players cards are all set randomly by position, and we begin the process.
Our aim is true, and our head is clear as the dart is loosed and lands on……
PG selections -Dennis Schroder ($7000) and Spencer Dinwiddle ($4,000)
SG selections – Evan Fournier ($5,500) and Allen Crabbe ($4,300)
SF selections- Jae Crowder ($5,200) and Aaron Gordon ($4,900)
PF selections- Al-Farouq Aminu ($5,800) and Kris Humphries ($3,900)
C selection – Rudy Gobert ($7,500)
Total salary remaining – $11,900
This is not the lineup we here at the institute would have chosen to prove our dart theory, but I guess that is the point.
We will be monitoring this contest closely and hope that you will as well…..
Well, the final total is in and it looks like we scored…..162.90
Link to Contest.
This finishes us in 33719th place, just barely outside the cash. (Like 20,000 spots away)
It looks like many of the players had an off night, but if I were to blame anyone, I would blame Kris Humphries! (and his measly 2.2 points)
Tune in next time when we try again (MLB probably) and feel free to play the Dart Board Challenge