Elf on the Shelf, Collapse of the Atlanta Falcons and Other Things that Don't Make no Sense

This was a very strange weekend for me and my family. My furnace went kaput and it will take 5 days to get someone out to replace it. And yes, it has been 20-25 degrees at night. Fun! Our puppy caught kennel cough and sounds like she is going to hock up a small animal every time she coughs. My wife almost 1) locked herself out of her car deep in Deliverance country and 2) got trapped in an elevator during a trip to pick up our daughter from college. The same daughter who had her car towed out of an apartment complex Saturday night and we shelled out $160 to pick up the car which had been towed approximately 200 yards. I even ate at McDonalds (futile search for the McRib) for the first time in over a year and my insides paid the price for about a day. And I haven’t even mentioned DFS yet. That comes later. Last night, I was reflecting on the weekend and realized that many things confuse me in life. What better way to work through it than to pen a slightly off-topic blog about it. Enjoy. And if you don’t, that will just be the topper to my weekend.

1) Let’s start with DFS. It hit me last night, that I have been horrible in NFL DFS this year. Outside of some tickets I have for next weekend, I am done for this season. I don’t understand where I have gone wrong, but I just need to accept that week 14 was another tough one for me. Philip Rivers didn’t do squat in a relatively tight game against a junior varsity defense. The Giants sans OBJ obliterated the Washington Washouts, so Sterling Shepard didn’t need to do much. Zach Ertz didn’t show up. Lev Bell… I mean James Connor…. I mean some guy named Samuels was mediocre. This sounds like the story of my season. After being very good last year, I stunk it up this year using the same process. Ah well, at least I won’t play any more Packers this year.
2) What has happened to the Atlanta Falcons? Blown out by a Green Bay team that can’t stop any team’s offense and had been embarrassed by the Cardinals the week before. Tevin Coleman is faster than anyone within fifty miles of Lambeau Field, yet the Falcons can’t get him out in space? Three Packer offensive lineman are out and the Falcons’ defense can’t do anything against the no imagination Pack offense? A team with so much promise is 4-9, has no shot at the playoffs and yet no one has been fired there. Very bizarre.
3) Why were people pushing the “angry Aaron Rodgers narrative? If you are a Packers and/or Rodgers fan like myself, you would have to realize that these days his anger isn’t directed at the opponent, but rather at anyone that makes him look bad (teammates, his brother and family). And with McCarthy gone, magic Mike could no longer make him look bad so Aaron wasn’t going to be angry. He played fine yesterday, but wasn’t a tournament winning (or losing for that matter) QB.
4) What is the deal with Elf on the Shelf? My brother told me that he and his wife are introducing this concept to their 3 year old. I don’t get it. And by that, I mean I understand the concept, but I still don’t get it. Parents put an elf somewhere in the house, move it around every night and tell their children that the elf is watching to see if they are being good. Uh, isn’t that more like a stalker? Also, these same parents probably don’t let their kids go outside without supervision and teach their kids not to talk to strangers, yet they invite a creepy doll into their house. And that doll MOVES every night! That sounds move like Chuckie to me than a friendly elf that will help deliver presents come Christmas morning.
5) Why is Mark Sanchez in the NFL? I know this is an age old question, but I have to inquire about it again. The guy is a turnover machine. Heck, if I was in the Giants secondary yesterday, I would have picked him twice and taken one to the house. Aren’t there better QBs than him? If the Jags defense doesn’t score 10-15 fantasy points next week, then they really do stink.

That’s it. I was going to also address the Bulls players complaining about their new coach, but the Bulls don’t deserve any discussion unless Michael Jordan comes back. Good luck in your contests this week!

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Comments

  • Whosiere41

    • Blogger of the Month

    Loved the read bro. And I am with you about the Elf on the Shelf. Just goes to show how trendy and cliquey Americans can be when they will do something just because it is popular and never really think about what it is they are doing.

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