Episode II - Chat Guys go Fishing

The Uber driver pulls up to the dock and three men emerge from the back.

Monkman – There she is guys…the Jasmine, my pride and joy.

A sleek luxury yacht, painted in red/orange, rocks slowly in the morning tide. The men pass a vagrant in the street looking at the sports section of a newspaper.

San Miguel – Godbless! Good mourning to all!
Monkman – Who is ready to catch some fish?
33 – Fish don’t matter
Snake – Of course fish matter…why else would be here fishing?

The three men reach the boat and start to load their gear, as a bus pulls up on the street near the dock. Half a dozen men emerge from the bus and start walking towards the Jasmine.

San Miguel – Godbless!

All but one is carrying fishing gear. The man not carrying the gear is arguing with his sidekick.

Backwoods Joker – This yacht isn’t that nice at all.
Cali Smog – What are you talking about? This is the greatest vessel to ever sail the sea.
Roz – Joker, I put all your gear by the back of the boat.
Backwoods Joker – why the back of the boat?
Roz – Would you prefer it somewhere else?
Backwoods Joker – the best fish are on the far side of the boat, without question, I never fish from the back of the boat
Roz – OK Joker, I’ll move your stuff.
Backwoods Joker – just keep me away from Cali…he’s always on my lawn, cant get away from that guy.
33 – Side of the boat don’t matter.
Cobra – I know, right? Let’s get our stuff on the boat while there is still space. I didn’t know you invited this many people, Monk.

The trio make their way onto the boat, passing a man babbling senselessly.

Gambino – The GearFish is my fish of the day, boys. I’m going to load up on GearFish.
Snake – Whats a GearFish?
Gambino – if you don’t know about GearFish, youre not going to have a good day.
33 – I thought that guy wasn’t supposed to fish after he lost that wager?

Right before the yacht sets out to see, a limo pulls up and two brothers emerge, wearing dark sunglasses and carrying more fishing rods than anyone can count.

San Miguel – Godbless! Good mourning!
Snake – Who are these guys? I thought we were only supposed to bring one rod apiece.
33 – Number of rods don’t matter.
Monkman – I’ve got the only rod I need right here in the Jasmine!

A single female is standing on the dock looking confused. Right before the boat sets off, she climbs aboard.

Blondie M – Is this the DraftDay?
Monkman – No, this is the Jasmine.
Blondie – Oh, I usually only fish on the DraftDay. I’m Canadian.
33 – Country of origin don’t matter.
Monkman – You fishing, blondie?
Blondie M – I don’t know. I was thinking about maybe putting a rod in.

Monkman helps her aboard as the ship’s engine starts and the group head out to sea. An hour later, the yacht settles on an angry sea, and the passengers start to fish.

Gambone – You know, the RDfish is the fish of the day.
Snake – I thought you said it was the GearFish.
Gambone – The GearFish is good, but the RDfish is the one you want to hook.
Backwoods Joker – No it isn’t.
Roz – Don’t worry about him Joker, I’ve got your pole ready to go. Baited the hooks and everything. You’ll be catching fish in no time.

One of the mysterious brothers at the back of the boat catches the first fish of the day. His brother catches a fish right after him, using almost exactly the same bait.

Snake – who are those guys?
Roz – I don’t know, but they certainly have a lot of rods in the water.
Backwoods Joker – no they don’t
Snake – what are you talking about, joker? They each have more rods in the water than all of us combined. How am I supposed to catch any fish with just my one rod.
Backwoods Joker – its not the number of rods, it’s the bait they are using
Roz – Joker, I told you we should have setup in the back of the boat
Backwoods Joker – no you didn’t
Cali Smog – Joker, you fool. You could be back there catching all of the fish.
Backwoods Joker – Knock it off before I call the captain.

On the other side of the boat, Blondie is still trying to figure out if she wants to fish or not.

Blondie M – If this was the Draft Day I would definitely be fishing.
Gambone – You should definitely try fishing right here. This is where I am going to catch the fish of the day – the Interprefish.
Snake – that’s like the third fish you’ve called today and we’ve only been out here for an hour…you going to actually catch anything or just talk about fishing?

The two brothers are pulling in fish every minute, while the rest of the boat has been shutout. The passengers are growing testier by the minute. The group starts to approach the two brothers about their multiple entry of lines in the water.

Brother 1 – we aren’t doing anything illegal, each line is weighted slightly different.
Brother 2 – I didn’t even know he was going to be here, it’s a coincidence actually.

Just as the rest of the passengers are about to riot, a marine police vessel appears off the stern.

Elk (blowing his whistle) – are you aware you are fishing in unregulated waters?
Monkman – what are you talking about? I fish here all the time.
Elk – I’m sorry, these fish are only for the elite. I see you have two aboard, but the rest of these degenerate fishermen are coming with us.

Two of Elk’s deputies, Lucky and Knickerbocker, board the Jasmine, guns drawn.

Backwoods Joker – I assure you officers, I had nothing to do with this. I have no problem with those two guys on the back of the boat catching all the fish.
Roz – yeah he has no problem with it

In the midst of the commotion, a small sub pops up on the bow. A hatch opens, revealing an eerie blue light. A man appears in the shadows of the sub…

Hopcash – Jump if you want to survive.

33, Snake, and Monkman leap into the water. Elk and his two henchmen, Lucky and Knickerbocker, take everybody else left on the Jasmine into custody. As the three men descend into the sub, they are greeted by an old friend.

Cigar Czar – Welcome, gentlemen. Long time, no see.
Monkman – I thought you were dead!
Cigar Czar – Hopcash saved me. Now, come into the Captain’s Quarters, and I’ll tell you everything you need to know about fishing.

The sub descends into the depths of the ocean, waiting for the right time to surface again and take over the fishing world.

To Be Continued…

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