Spending $100 on an NFL Sunday
So you’re walking down the street, when suddenly, you see a crumpled, old, green paper looking thing about 10 feet ahead. You fear it will blow away so you say “screw it, I don’t care if I look like an idiot, I’m going to speed walk like those guys in the Olympics”. As a group of kids point and laugh at you waddling your dumbass towards this mystery thing, it starts to blow away, so you add a little hop step skip thing to your already embarrassing speed walk waddle. It starts to go airborne and pick up speed, so you decide you’ve looked like an idiot for long enough, might as well go all out for this thing. You break out in to a full on sprint, screaming at the top of your lungs “SLOW THE HELL DOWN YOU GREEN DEVIL PAPER FORM HELL”. Just as it begins to make its ascent into never-be-able-to-reach land, you dive head first and snag it between two fingers, landing face first in a pile of dog shit, but you don’t care, victory is yours. With dog feces dripping from your chin, you slowly gaze at your prize, locking eyes with Benjamin f*cking Franklin. – It’s Sunday morning, the world is your oyster, embarrassment and face-feces are a distant memory, who says money doesn’t buy happiness, you’re happier than a hooker on New Year’s Eve. You immediately run to the bank and deposit Mr. Franklin in to your account, going over all the possibilities of how to spend him. It’s 9:30am (pacific time) and NFL games are starting in 30 minutes. You remember seeing a magazine the other day with some guy named “Beermakersfan” on it who won a bazillion dollars playing something called daily fantasy sports. You get home, hop on the old computer, and google search “daily fantasy sports”, fully prepared to burn that $100 faster than Usain Bolt hopped up on Mountain Dew.
First search result, the Wiki page. You click, you read, you’re an expert. Next step, find the best sites and games to get the most out of your 100 bones. You are overloaded with options and bloodthirsty to pwn some n00bs. You click on a site called FanDuel, deposit your $100, and enter the first thing you see, a $100 head-to-head vs. a guy named Condia, when suddenly you remember that Economics class you took in 10th grade with the pothead teacher, and you remember he said something about diversifying and risk management, so you spam the chat box trying to cancel your head-to-head and get your $100 back:
“HELLO, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP, I’VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE, I FELL IN DOG SH*T THIS MORNING CHASING A $100 BILL AND BLEW IT ON A H2H. IT’S MY MONEY, AND I NEED IT NOW!”
Your message keeps instantly disappearing as waves and waves of awesome predictions and gruesome injury reports fly by, so you post it 50 more times over a 10 minute span, when suddenly, the clouds part and an Admin logo appears, saying your game has been cancelled and the $100 is back in your account. You refresh the page, cross your fingers, and get an instant chubby as you see your balance is back. Ok, what to do to next? You search daily fantasy sports again on google, and see something called RotoGrinders. You search around there for a bit, and stumble on some article about how to spend $100 on an NFL Sunday. You skim through a ridiculously long intro about some idiot who luck-boxed into $100 while adding more shame to the sport of speed walking, when finally you get to it, exactly what you’ve been looking for, a breakdown of how to get the most out of your $100 across a few daily fantasy sites. You follow the advice, enter the suggested games, and profit a couple hundred bucks, and your journey into degenerate daily fantasy sports grinding has begun. This is how everyone got in to daily fantasy sports right?
Spending Your $100
Ok, I understand that scenario is ridiculous and would never happen and you just lost 2-3 minutes of your life you will never get back, but what if you actually wanted to get the most out of $100 on an NFL Sunday? I decided to look across all the main sites and come up with a tournament-based strategy to best spread out $100 for week 8, with the main goal being to diversify your risk with potential to win as much money as possible. Here it is, just one of many ways to quickly blow $100 or hopefully win a few more Benjamins:
$2.5k Dive – ($1 buy-in, unlimited entry, $350 top prize) —> 5 teams, enter your favorite team twice to go for 1st and 2nd. Money spent so far: $5
$5k Snap ($2 buy-in, unlimited entry, $700 top prize) —> Same as the Dive, 5 teams, enter favorite team twice. Money spent so far: $15
$12.5k Spike ($5 buy-in, single entry, $1,750 top prize) —> Get your best team in this one. Money spent so far: $20
$20k Scramble ($10 buy-in, single entry, $3,000 top prize) —> I like using same team as Spike but swapping kicker and/or defense. Money spent so far: $30
$12.5k Rush ($5 buy-in, unlimited entry, $1,750 top prize) —> 2 entries, use same teams from Spike and Scramble, but again hedge your kickers and/or defense, and maybe one or two position players if you’re torn between a couple guys. Money spent so far: $40
(Click on tourney to go straight to the registration page)
$4k Low Open ($5 buy-in, multiple entry, $800 top prize) —> 2 entries, I’d hedge QB, Flex spot, and K between entries. Money spent so far: $50
$500 Hail Mary ($5 buy-in, single entry, $100 top prize) —> Small field. About 20% paid. Money spent so far: $55
(Click on tourney to go straight to the registration page)
128-man Bracket Tournament ($5 buy-in, 7 weeks long, $126 top prize) —> Gotta play this one just for the sheer fun/grind this type of tournament brings. Props to DD for putting these together. Money spent so far: $60
$1k Frosty Bucker ($1 buy-in, unlimited entry, $200 top prize) —> 5 entries. If you find a team you love I’d put it in 5 times, otherwise mix and match. Money spent so far: $65
$30k ‘Redemption’ Game ($5 buy-in, unlimited entry, $6,000 top prize) —> One of the best risk/reward tournaments ever in DFS. 1,000 places paid? Get 5 teams in this bad boy. Money spent so far: $90
The Last Ten Dollars…
Hmmm….$10 left….what to spend it on….No brainer. Get a team in the:
FFFC Qualifier! – Money spent so far: $100
I know I didn’t include all the sites, either because their games weren’t posted at the time I wrote this or the tournaments available just couldn’t match the payouts and value of the games listed above. Get in every single freeroll out there too!
GL in week 8 everyone!
Naapstermaan has been playing Daily Fantasy Sports since 2010, season-long fantasy since 2004, and used to grind online poker for over 7 years. Notable DF Sports achievements include winning a seat to the finals of the 2011 DFBC and the 2012 FFFC. Through just Week 6 of the 2012 NFL Season, “Naap” had 2 weeks where he won more than $10,000, and he took down the inaugural DraftKings $50,000 event. Combining his notoriously humorous photo-edits with his Daily Fantasy savvy, Naap graces RotoGrinders with his unique column each week on the RG.