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  • umpire344

    Do u check your scores periodically, frequently at home?? How do you make time for research ?? Is your significant other supportive?? I noticed I frequently check my scores on my phone and my wife hasn’t really got on my ass for it but I can tell she’s a little annoyed!! I don’t want it to become a problem. Anyone have some advice?

  • jr1886

    • 2017 FanDuel WFBBC Finalist

    Win big and, from that point on, it won’t be a problem.

  • Brandon23

    Define supportive..

  • noddy

    Family comes first. Of course everyone’s situation is different. Some here are married, some have kids, is this just a hobby etc. You have to find the balance that works for you and your family.

  • walkoff9

    If it’s at all an issue now, don’t plan on playing NBA, especially on DK.

  • PJGuin23

    DFS Tax Guru

    Take it from someone who got put on a DFS diet until NFL, you want to keep it in check. My wife doesn’t think the time spent is worth it but I disagree. She thought I was less mentally active with our daughter because of this even when I wasn’t checking scores. As for NFL, I promised only to check injury statuses before a slate of games and worry about winning on Tuesday morning

    I wish I kept it under a lid more from my wife at first and didn’t get so emotional on a WR from a team I could normally care less about. Now I learned to keep emotions in check and let the cards fall where they will after I do my research.

    As someone who has been to counseling with DFS as a topic and seriously threatened with divorce twice over this, I know the feeling. It’s an activity not many understand and explaining it can be talking to a brick wall.

  • noddy

    If your significant other doesn’t understand it or doesn’t like it then there could be trouble for sure.

  • troveur

    The way it usually works best from personal and other friends experiences(for solid winning players) is that you get your wife/husband/significant other on board by explaining DFS in full to them, somehow make them a part of it even in a very small way AND most importantly show them the end result of all the money you are making off it. It also helps a lot not checking scores in front of them if it is family time—-gotta have some self control boys.

  • cy1985

    Most people are long term losers. Most people will think it’s your traditional gambling and that’s it. If you are one of the few who is winning big prizes every year, that’s a whole other thing or this is your full time job. Already been a handful of news stories in recent years about how DFS ruined families.

    I have pretty much concluded after playing for more than 5 years off and on that if you are not spending hours each day truly running scenarios and paying attention to everything going on in a given sport, you will be left behind. Every season, the playing field is getting harder for the casual player. 2014 NFL was easier than 2015 NFL for example. 2015 baseball was better for me than 2016 baseball. I gave up on baseball after a few months. The same amount of time dedicated in 2015 wasn’t enough to win in 2016. I am out to football begins.

    At the end of the day, communication is key to all things in life.

  • Olhausen

    Man I feel bad for those whose wives don’t like them playing dfs. I’ve been married for 7 years but I don’t have kids so maybe that’s the difference. My wife has no problem whatsoever with me playing dfs or checking scores or whatever else Dfs involves. She does say she doesn’t know how I deal with sweats. Because whenever I’m near the top of the leader board and I tell her she gets more nervous than I do watching it all unfold.

  • billholler

    Wife hated it until I won 30k. Now she plays daily PGA. She isn’t happy about my current cold streak but hasn’t complained too much.

  • slcseas

    Set aside a night or two to enjoy a sweat, but otherwise you need to switch it off once your lineups are finalized for the night.

    Finding out Anthony Davis is ruled out for the game at 545 has a way of putting a damper on your evenings. It’s only fun when you are winning, the rest of the time you’ve just unneccesarily put yourself in a bad mood.

  • EadesScience

    It is only my wife and myself now as our 4 kids all have families of their own. Thus, my past time is not an issue. The wife has become accustomed to me playing and she likes the trips and spending money that she reaps as a result.

    I still attend all my grand-kids athletic events. With that said, one of my oldest grand-sons has been invited to play at the Tuscaloosa, Alabama ODP camp in which we will be attending.

    Ricky

  • cdenny99

    Great topic. Married with two little ones, so I can totally relate. My suggestion would be to promise to her to put family first (and follow through on this), but then to also try to negotiate some parameters. (like 6:00-7:00 is yours, and then maybe a half-hour before bed to check scores/prepare for next day) Something like that.

  • ohhale

    It’s hard to juggle the two personally as I’m married w/ 2 rowdy boys (ages 3-1/2 and 2). I typically do the bulk of my research (my own personal spreadsheet) around 1am and usually enter lines at that time that I like and think that most of the players will play. Most of the time, i can tell my wife that I need from 645pm-705pm as “my time” to make sure everyone is active on my lines that I put in at 1am. Sometimes i get around to it but sometimes I don’t.. she does complain about it some but i’ve also cashed out 500+ on multiple occasions and then all is forgiven for a month or 2 lol

  • PJGuin23

    DFS Tax Guru

    @cdenny99 said...

    Great topic. Married with two little ones, so I can totally relate. My suggestion would be to promise to her to put family first (and follow through on this), but then to also try to negotiate some parameters. (like 6:00-7:00 is yours, and then maybe a half-hour before bed to check scores/prepare for next day) Something like that.

    That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do. Separate DFS from family life. Wife is not too thrilled but thinks the summer and spring are times off and PGA is ridiculous. As anyone can see with rankings I’m well above average and been high on the leader board a few times in GPPs and I know if I keep at it will cash a decent amount if I did.

    I don’t play NBA or MLB for a reason. I have a working wife and toddler and the time needed to do proper research is daughter’s bedtime. I stick to the “weeklys” so to speak and wife is still not on board except NFL and even that’s pulling teeth.

    I do think a big W will help matters in my case but we shall see. Some time off is good but I hate missing PGA as I am right now and seeing my rank slip each week.

  • tvsfrink

    Well, it’s helpful to understand that the rankings aren’t really worth anything important…

  • jimmyquinella

    • Blogger of the Month

    You can always get another family…..

    It’s not every day that you get a contest with overlay.

    PLAY ON!!!

  • Humblebeasttt

    Best advice ever !

  • yoteach

    • Blogger of the Month

    Whether playing DFS or going to the bar to watch games with friends, I feel incredibly lucky to have a supportive wife, but she is supportive of me because I am supportive of her and her hobbies, social time, etc. I make sure I pull my weight and have quality kid time everyday, prioritize work/DFS, etc. Yes, sometimes it can be hard, but one piece of advice that I would give is to plan effectively and take days off when needed to be supportive of your significant other and/or children.

    My wife and I try to communicate effectively and not nag each other. To me, that is one of the surest paths to resentment and not enjoying life and love/marriage. I was cognizant from the get-go to communicate effectively and even adopted “yoteach” in my wife’s honor (one of her first classes, she taught Mario Williams who later became an NFL #1 draft pick, and he came up after class and addressed her as, “Yo, teach…” She came home and said, “I know some people would have been offended by the lack of respect shown, but I felt like I’d officially made it as a teacher!”).

    I do need to get better about checking my phone too much during slates. I’ve purchased an app called Freedom to help with my focus with writing, and it allows you to set block lists for websites, apps, etc. to avoid distraction. Been working great thus far!

  • sethayates

    @yoteach said...

    Whether playing DFS or going to the bar to watch games with friends, I feel incredibly lucky to have a supportive wife, but she is supportive of me because I am supportive of her and her hobbies, social time, etc. I make sure I pull my weight and have quality kid time everyday, prioritize work/DFS, etc. Yes, sometimes it can be hard, but one piece of advice that I would give is to plan effectively and take days off when needed to be supportive of your significant other and/or children.

    My wife and I try to communicate effectively and not nag each other. To me, that is one of the surest paths to resentment and not enjoying life and love/marriage. I was cognizant from the get-go to communicate effectively and even adopted “yoteach” in my wife’s honor (one of her first classes, she taught Mario Williams who later became an NFL #1 draft pick, and he came up after class and addressed her as, “Yo, teach…” She came home and said, “I know some people would have been offended by the lack of respect shown, but I felt like I’d officially made it as a teacher!”).

    I do need to get better about checking my phone too much during slates. I’ve purchased an app called Freedom to help with my focus with writing, and it allows you to set block lists for websites, apps, etc. to avoid distraction. Been working great thus far!

    This is pretty spot on, especially the first few sentences. Relationships are a partnership. If you don’t support your spouse’s hobbies and free time then I can promise she isn’t going to be happy about your DFS play.

    For example, if you have a thousand dollars on DFS sites and you get in an argument with your wife after she just bought her 33rd pair of shoes that might be a problem. If you aren’t supporting her hobbies she isn’t going to support yours.

  • PJGuin23

    DFS Tax Guru

    @sethayates said...

    This is pretty spot on, especially the first few sentences. Relationships are a partnership. If you don’t support your spouse’s hobbies and free time then I can promise she isn’t going to be happy about your DFS play.

    For example, if you have a thousand dollars on DFS sites and you get in an argument with your wife after she just bought her 33rd pair of shoes that might be a problem. If you aren’t supporting her hobbies she isn’t going to support yours.

    I’m actually jealous. In my case, we agreed to put a % of paycheck into the joint bank account for major bills and a % into personal no questions asked. Well, I never said 2 words about Coach purses or online shopping but now I feel I need to be a customs inspector every time a package comes in because my DFS play got called into question. I also noticed a lot of things sent to Goodwill are new and never used. I dont have time to be a package auditor but shit I’m getting there. Guess I feel a bit pissed off that no questions asked was not really so. Part of it was the research time and I did that away from her and daughters time. Even then if something’s off kilter, she blames it on having shall I say a quiet DFS sweat even when it has nothing to do with it.

    I know the answer, I have issues and need to establish ground rules before this coming NFL season. Thanks all for the advice and being a sounding board.

  • BennyRamirez

    I have a wife, an 18-month-old, and a second on the way. I just started nightly grinding in November, as an NBA cash player, and I mean pretty much every night. She can be a bit of a micromanager, yet this has not really been a problem, and these are some tips which may help:

    1.) Play more FanDuel than DraftKings.

    FD is more family-friendly because of no late swap. I find that I cannot really invest for the volume I would like to play because no late swap calls for more caution, but DK is, like a four-hour stresser, in all sports where late swap is a great tool to get an edge with high volume. FD allows you to set the lineups and just let it go for a while, which leads to my next point.

    2.) Be helpful, be helpful, be helpful, be helpful!

    My routine is to get home from work, finalize some research, and set my lineups by about 90 minutes before lock (around 4:40 CST). Then, go to the market, grab stuff for dinner, and get to the grill by a half hour before lock. While prepping and cooking, I register for games, follow news and lineups in a way that isn’t a burden at home because it is a fairly easy thing to do while taking a load off. Whether I was doing DFS-related stuff or not, it has no impact on her because either way, she focus on our son and not deal with the store and cooking. Timing it out this way has dinner ready shortly after lock, and since it’s FD, there is nothing to do, so I can be fully present for a family dinner, and the family dinner is huge way to be present in a way that is indifferent to your DFS play. Then, bath and bed time for the kid and clean up the kitchen. Dinner, bath, and bed time routine is about 90 minutes, so between 6:15 and 7:45, you are completely away from DFS when there is nothing to do anyway.

    After that, it is a lot easier for her to get off your back because you have just added so much to the household over the last 2-3 hours.

    3.) Fade some main slates.

    Two or three times a week, I completely fade a main slate I don’t like when there is a good-looking late night/after hours. This gives us the shot to just go out to dinner or have friends over. I still do all of the regular research and register my spots. After bedtime, you have the time to glance at news and edit lineups. These nights, you will almost guaranteed have a free pass to track your lineups and watch whatever games you want on AtBat.

    4.) Take advantage of split slates

    The weekends are perfect for this. Remember that a lot of the problems will either be financially- or companionship-related. If the former is the issue, that’s something else altogether, but if it is the latter, look ahead to the Saturday slates and plan to go out all afternoon with her or all night. These are great DK days because you can chill and utilize late swap and sweat, then be done with any DFS activity by mid-afternoon to do whatever with the rest of your day.

    There is almost never a case where both Saturday slates and Sunday are all juicy. If both Saturday slates are great, play both, and go out after lock, or play both and take Sunday off.

    5.) Once you’re locked, there is nothing you can do.

    This is important to tell yourself. Whether you check your lineups at that moment or two hours from now, the end results will be the same with your locked players. If you’re having dinner, let it wait. If you’re out with friends, let it wait. If you’re watching a movie, let it wait. If you show restraint at these times, you will get a very long leash for the times when nothing else is really going on, and she will use that as her free time anyway.

  • cAUmberlandtiger8

    @PJGuin23 said...

    I’m actually jealous. In my case, we agreed to put a % of paycheck into the joint bank account for major bills and a % into personal no questions asked. Well, I never said 2 words about Coach purses or online shopping but now I feel I need to be a customs inspector every time a package comes in because my DFS play got called into question. I also noticed a lot of things sent to Goodwill are new and never used. I dont have time to be a package auditor but shit I’m getting there. Guess I feel a bit pissed off that no questions asked was not really so. Part of it was the research time and I did that away from her and daughters time. Even then if something’s off kilter, she blames it on having shall I say a quiet DFS sweat even when it has nothing to do with it.

    I know the answer, I have issues and need to establish ground rules before this coming NFL season. Thanks all for the advice and being a sounding board.

    I appreciate your candor in regards to balancing DFS and family life. Im sure there are many on this board who have struggled with the same issues you have.

  • sethayates

    @PJGuin23 said...

    I’m actually jealous. In my case, we agreed to put a % of paycheck into the joint bank account for major bills and a % into personal no questions asked. Well, I never said 2 words about Coach purses or online shopping but now I feel I need to be a customs inspector every time a package comes in because my DFS play got called into question. I also noticed a lot of things sent to Goodwill are new and never used. I dont have time to be a package auditor but shit I’m getting there. Guess I feel a bit pissed off that no questions asked was not really so. Part of it was the research time and I did that away from her and daughters time. Even then if something’s off kilter, she blames it on having shall I say a quiet DFS sweat even when it has nothing to do with it.

    I know the answer, I have issues and need to establish ground rules before this coming NFL season. Thanks all for the advice and being a sounding board.

    I completely get what you are saying here. I’m not sure how you and your wife communicate. Being a CPA you could take the numbers to your wife and compare your DFS versus her hobbies. That is probably a non-starter since the issue is time not money.

    I’ve been with my wife for almost four years now and have a 1 and 3 year old. She wasn’t always happy about me spending a bunch of time on DFS. The big things that changed that were winning a couple of decent-sized prizes and sharing in the returns with her. A few years ago I won the early-only Strikeout on FanDuel. It was like $3000. This was right around the time my son was born. I pulled out almost all of it and I said, “Let’s take a trip to IKEA this weekend and get things for the baby.”

    After DFS started bringing money in (and she was allowed to share in the winnings) then money wasn’t the issue. The time thing is still a bit difficult. I work 7:30-430 so I’m usually getting home about 5ET. She’s runs her own business out of our home (Sells Pure Romance) so when I get home at 5ET she’s had the kids all day. It’s also dinner time and the kids haven’t seen their dad all day. It’s a tough sell to ask for an hour or more between 5-7 after just getting home. What that means is different for every sport:

    NBA: Pretty much a no-go. Only way it can be done is do all your research from 630-7ET and play exclusively on “lock sites” like FD. The problem here is you really don’t see many of the games (except west coast) so miss out on a lot of things the numbers won’t tell you.

    (Can also, research 7-730 “must plays” then play on DK with the must plays locked in and the rest of the roster flexible. Usually, you’ll have at least a few minutes before 9ET to finish locking in your lineup and you’ll already know whether you need to be aggressive or just play the chalk. The west coast games have higher over/unders anyway)

    MLB: It’s really easy to create a Google Doc or excel doc that scrapes all the stats you need. Once you set it up one time you don’t have to redo the work. This also cuts out the hours people think you need to spend on FanGraphs. You can also shortcut it even more and just come here to RG. The problem here is that we are talking about baseball which has really high variance. I’ve found I get more enjoyment these days from just using “The Bat” to build a few of my favorite stacks. On Saturday, I scored 204.65 on DK just by putting in my 5 favorite Blue Jays and optimizing the rest. I actually set that lineup from a Memorial Day cookout.

    PGA/NFL/CFL/CFB (Weekly sports): These are a lot easier. You can do your research days in advance and usually at a time that’s convenient for you and your family. I know you already said PGA is an issue but that’s what I would fight for if I were you. It’s a once per week thing and it shouldn’t be an extreme time-waster.

    If your wife says no to PGA the good news is Preseason NFL starts next month. That’s the best sport to play……wait, she already thinks you have a gambling problem. Go ahead and just stick to the weekly sports.

  • eaglezzz

    Married 12 years and have 4 kids here and an 8-5 job. Grinding daily is tough to balance with a family life. For me some key areas are that I am lucky to live in Utah and have everything on Mountain time. I play a lot of FanDuel so once my lineups set at 5pm I go home from work and don’t even have to worry about late scratches or lineup problems.

    Weekly sports are a lot easier to play as you can find more time for research and don’t have to pack it all in on one day.

    Winning is also a big key. Keep open communication in what you are losing and winning and when a big win comes share it with the whole family. I have been a DFS player since the beginning and have had some big wins ($15K, 9K, 6K, etc). What have I done on the big win nights? I pretty much withdraw 90% of the winnings and use it on the family (Vacations, Dental bills, Baby Bills, Pay off Credit Cards and debt, put in savings, new kitchen). When you share in the success with your spouse, life is much easier and pulling the money out is hard at first because we all have dreams in the DFS community that we are going to be a professional DFS player but in reality with a family life if you can supplement your income with $10-$15K in DFS winnings a year it becomes a nice hobby and a supplementary income that helps my wife stay home with the kids.

    I take weekends off and evenings off. When I am at home I am a father first most and give all the time I can to my kids. Sometimes I enjoy entering GPPs and letting my 9 and 6 year just creating lineups for fun.

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