Collapsing beneath the weight of injuries on their defense and offensive line, the San Diego Superchargers give up no fewer than five (5) sacks to a rejuvenated Oakland Raiders pass rush—at least doubling Oakland’s total through Week 4. The Chargers go on to crater their Vegas line and drop to 1-4 on the season, their worst start since the calamities of 2003.
Order is restored to the universe. Khalil Mack doubters and Melvin Gordon apologists are are shamed. Mike McCoy begins to update his resume while Ken Whisenhunt sharpens his knives. Chargers fans begin to wonder whether moving the team to Los Angeles was such a bad idea, after all.
Somewhere in the desert, a man known only as “Spice Rack” lets out a keening howl of despair. It sounds eerily similar to Brian Hoyer throwing a preseason interception.