Daily Fantasy, Daily Life: Volume VIII - When The Super Bowl Meets Valentine's Day
The NFL went to an 18-week season this year, so everything got pushed back a week, so the Super Bowl is this Sunday. Whatever, right?
Except for one little hiccup: Valentine’s Day – objectively the worst day of the year – follows on Monday.
So yes. After betting, drinking, betting, eating, betting, and drinking Sunday, we’re – and yes, I’m going to be directing this strictly at my fellow menfolk – supposed to wake up Monday morning, head to work, work all day, and then come home and surprise our wife/girlfriend/whatever with a well-thought out romantic gesture to demonstrate our undying love for our wife/girlfriend/whatever. (Pro tip: Do not refer to your wife/girlfriend as “whatever.”)
lang=“en” dir=“ltr”>Valentine’s Day is the Monday after the Super Bowl this year, thanks to the 17 game schedule.
— Jeff Edelstein (@jeffedelstein) January 27, 2022
This means at some point in the not-distant future, the Super Bowl will land ON Valentine’s Day. pic.twitter.com/fH0yboJhnT
This is a disaster, naturally. I’m not the only one who thinks so.
lang=“en” dir=“ltr”>I’m gonna say something on behalf of all guys. Valentines Day coming on the day after the SuperBowl is total bullshit. No way any guy can be expected to think about Vday till football season is over. It’s ridiculous and setting all men up for failure.
— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) January 31, 2022
But if you think this is bad, just wait. Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday in 2027, meaning, unless the NFL schedule changes, Super Bowl Sunday will be going head-to-head with Valentine’s Day.
That’s like … well, words escape me. It’s like nothing this world has ever seen. The holiest day of the year for men going up against the holiest day of the year for women. To quote the late, great Gorilla Monsoon: It’s the irresistible force going up against the immovable object.
So how to navigate this minefield?
Well, for starters, I would immediately set aside some money for Valentine’s Day dinner, flowers, jewelry, chocolates, etc. right now just in case you don’t even sniff the min cash line in your 150 DraftKings Showdown lineups Sunday.
Secondly, I would definitely recommend spending lavishly on V-Day should you happen to win big on Sunday. Seriously: Can you imagine letting your better (or worse, how the hell should I know?) half know you took down $10K on Sunday and then you take her to Bob’s Beef and Beer the next night for Valentine’s Day dinner while you slip her a pharmacy-bought container of what’s being advertised as “chocolate?” Not a good look. (By the way: A Google search yielded zero results for any restaurant called “Bob’s Beef and Beer.” How could we be living in America in 2022 and there is not one single restaurant called “Bob’s Beef and Beer?” What happened to this country? Anyway …)
Anyway, these are my two big ideas. Put money away now for dinner and such so you won’t be aggravated in case you lose money on Super Bowl Sunday, and if you win money on Super Bowl Sunday, be prepared to shower your wife/girlfriend (not whatever) with that dough.
Now: You might be reading this and take me for an unromantic lout, of which at least one person routinely accuses me of.
But I’m not: I’m a romantic. I just don’t like Valentine’s Day for all the same reasons people who don’t like Valentine’s Day don’t like it. A partial list …
- It’s a Hallmark holiday, and forcing me to declare my love for the person I actually love at a specific time and date kind of goes against the whole concept of love in the first place.
- It totally sucks for single people, and I speak from (a lot) of experience.
- I used to be part-owner of a fine-dining restaurant, and trust me: You are not getting the best service and attention on Valentine’s Day. Ever.
- It’s just dumb.
I feel like I’m starting to rant. Let’s wrap this up with a fun “didja know:” Valentine’s Day is a worldwide thing. Not just us. But other countries do it a little better than we do, you ask me. For instance, in Japan, the onus is on the women to give gifts to the men.
In Bulgaria, it’s also Wine Day, so tradition holds you either get wasted with your lover, or get wasted alone. That’s called a win-win right there.
Lastly, both Finland and Estonia pretty much ditch the “lover” part of the equation and just celebrate friendship. That I can get behind, especially if it falls on Super Bowl Sunday in five years.
In fact, let’s merge all three of these worldly traditions together for Feb. 14, 2027. My wife gets gifts for me (can you gift DraftKings crowns? I will investigate), I get gifts for my friends, we all get drunk. Who says no?
Well, besides American women.
One last thing: I didn’t tell my wife I 3X’d my money in Pro Bowl DFS contests. That’s a sacred day and not to be shared, Valentine’s Day or not.
Cover Image Credit: Imagn