KCommentary: Breakdowns, Panhandling, & Multiaccounting

by Kevin Cearnal (kcearnal) Last Updated 2011-01-30 18:18:48

Breakdowns, Panhandling, & Multiaccounting

Excitement at its Finest

About the Writer: Kevin “kcearnal” Cearnal lives and works in the most dangerous city in the country, St. Louis, Missouri. He has obtained the nickname ‘KC’ throughout the daily fantasy community due to the confusing nature of his aforementioned screen name and his overall ‘hoodness’. He has no sport of expertise and has the distinction of being the most recognizable loser in the industry. ‘KC’ works as Communication Coordinator for a not-for-profit foundation and the sports teams which he most enjoys include the St. Louis Cardinal and Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

Welcome to another week of exciting, controversial and morally questionable commentary everyone. Let’s begin…

1. Wednesday NBA SLAM Analysis – Durant Owns the Night!

If you didn’t have Kevin Durant, you really had very little chance of making money. He put up 73 FD points with a massive 47 point 18 rebound performance. I have to give props to my main man Tippy who still managed to pull out a 7th place finish without the night’s top performer. Everyone else in the money had him. Not a lot of Grinders here, which is disappointing. But that tends to happen when a player puts up an out-of-this-world performance. Let’s get some real talent back on the leaderboard next week fellas’

2. Friday NBA DUNK Analysis – KC & Sclem Can Now Officially ‘Make it Rain’

Ah, yes…yours truly placed 2nd in the DUNK. I don’t want to gloat too much but I am pretty much the best, most talented grinder in the history of daily fantasy. I have just been underachieving to this point. A late bloomer. And Friday was my coming out party. You all better be afraid ‘cuz I am the TRUTH!

Actually, I am not. At all. In all honesty, I did very little research last night and just happened to hit on the majority of the MANY, MANY high-scorers of the night. It would have been a great night to track all the live scores because so many players went off for huge numbers. The server crash was so, so disappointing.

I also really wish FanDuel live scoring would have been working so that I could have celebrated this performance on Friday night at the bar. I would have bought Apple Martinis for everyone. Oh well, maybe I’ll just send Cam a copy of Brokeback Mountain on Blu-Ray instead. It’s his favorite. He called it Fabulous.

3. Friday NBA REBOUND Analysis – Grinders Hold Down the Leaderboard

Sclem21 rounds out a great week of large tourney lineups with a win in the inaugural NBA REBOUND tourney on FanDuel. Joining him in the top 10 were NBA standout regulars Hatorade, headChopper, etoppsfan, dabigU and Naapsterman. This is another strong performance for the Rotogrinders crew and it makes me happy to see some green flyin’ our way. I would really love to see a leaderboard that consists solely of our guys. If we make this happen MLowe has promised to explain to me what the word ‘Dougie’ means. So needless to say this is very important.

Gonna move away from the NBA players themselves this week for hero/zero and focus on the staff and players on FanDuel. As we all know this site is both the best and the worst in the fantasy industry depending on your individual opinion. Here’s mine:

4. Weekly Hero:

Zoobird (aka waiverwire) – I really admire what this guy does on a daily basis. Seriously, I would explain what he does, but I am sure that each and every one of you already knows. And this makes my point for me. He puts up with more bullshit than a cattle farmer without female stock. Or a lost luggage employee in an overpopulated airport. He puts up with our gripes, grieves and other assorted bitching day in and day out. And with little praise or recognition. So what better way to recognize his heroism than with mention in this seldom read, unimportant weekly article. Props to you Zoo. Much Love.

5. Weekly Zeroes

• The FanDuel Server – [Self Explanatory]

• The FanDuel Chatroom Idiots

1. The Rapping Panhandler – There was a guy, in the chat, that was rapping and asking for money. I felt like I was walking through a virtual impoverished area. Seriously, like an online ghetto. I think this guy was about 13. He started typing out these weird rhymes that would have made MLowe so proud. He then proceeded to start begging people to give him money… and he was not kidding. In summation, this would have been the funniest thing that I have EVER seen in chat, but…

2. The Multiaccounter – This guy takes the cake. An absolute joke. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of chatting with the ever-popular ‘ToughMonkeys32’ let me just tell you that it is a real treat. He always thinks that the world is out to get him, or that he got screwed or some other stupid nonsense. He proceeds to bitch, bitch and bitch. Then Zoobird, my hero, kicks him out of chat. He then proceeds to create another account with the screenname ‘whydoesfanduelhateme’. With this account he whines about the new pricing structure and other stupid stuff. Zoobird kicks him out of chat again. I then suspected later that day that he was logged on under yet another account name. Is this not the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard of? Geez. Get a life dude. This has led me to draw up legislation to be submitted to FanDuel’s management. This material would allow the RotoGrinders Army unquestioned banning privileges. Confirmation of this is currently pending…

6. Looking Forward

Sportsgeek has officially launched its NBA contests. The lineup selection is quite different, as you already know through forum posting. I have played there several times and find the competition to be fairly easy. Check it out and see if you can bring home some easy money.

As mentioned in last week’s article, the pricing on FanDuel has drastically changed. Player selection has been much more varied since this change took place. I have discussed this thoroughly with Tippy and it is our opinion that this is a change that is definitely for the better, especially for those of us who have the time and patience do the necessary research. I don’t know about you all, but I’m happy I don’t have to pick John Wall, Dirk Nowitzki and Andrew Bynum on a nightly basis anymore. More big tourneys to come on FanDuel with this new, improved pricing structure.

Good luck to everyone this coming week. Let’s keep the money coming our way and out of the hands of the aforementioned idiots in Fanduel chat.

I’ll look forward to annoying you all more next week!