Loving You Is Complicated
“Loving you is complicated.”
This is a line in the Kendrick Lamar song “u,” in which he is speaking to himself.
This is how I feel sometimes myself.
I get the sense this is how you feel sometimes as well. Not about yourself (although, who knows – you probably do feel this way about yourself at times; we probably all feel this way about ourselves at times). I mean I get the sense this is how you feel sometimes about me.
You see, everyone likes to be liked. Even those of us who act like we don’t care if we’re liked (perhaps especially those of us who act like we don’t care if we’re liked) like to be liked.
Or maybe that’s not entirely accurate. Maybe what it really boils down to is this: everyone desires some sort of positive return from others.
Fair enough?
For some of us, this “positive return” is being liked. For others of us, this “positive return” is being respected. For others still, this “positive return” is being appreciated. We can act like we are entirely self-sufficient; we can even try to convince ourselves that we are entirely self-sufficient. But let’s be honest: none of us really are. Not fully, at least. All of us need at least some measure of interaction with other human beings, and each of us desires some sort of positive return from these interactions.
I sort of see it like this: My wife and I were recently given a new water purifier; a few minutes ago, I went to the kitchen to fill a glass of water from this purifier, but the pitcher was empty. I had to fill it up before I could get anything out of it.
Most of us are like this in our own lives (honestly, all of us are like this, but I say “most of us” in order to exclude you if you prefer to be excluded). In order to pour out something positive to others, something must first be poured into us.
I bring up all of this because I have started to feel, over the last month or so, that “disliking JMToWin’s writing” is the new “liking JMToWin’s writing.” I can’t say I’m surprised, honestly; it’s just the way these things go: for a while there (throughout football season – when I was writing only one article per week until the latter half of the season, and then during the first couple months of baseball season, when it was still somewhat new and exciting for my articles to be on RotoGrinders so frequently), people seemed to be really receptive toward my writing, but as the season has progressed, it has become increasingly likely that I will find negative reactions to any words I have written, and to any opinions I have expressed.
Nothing has changed in my writing. I’ve gone back through earlier articles to make sure there is no place where I have gone astray. Nothing has changed in my content, and nothing has changed in my approach.
Maybe it’s just over-saturation – too many of my articles populating the site each week.
Maybe it’s familiarity; as the old proverb goes, after all: “familiarity breeds contempt.”
Or maybe it’s just that I’m really not that likable to begin with. Loving me is complicated.
While driving home from Chicago yesterday (long story, but our flight to Costa Rica last week flew out of – and into – Chicago, which left us with a 10 hour drive to make it home), I was thinking about all of this and about what I wanted to write about in this week’s article, and I started thinking about all the things that make me less-than-entirely-likable. I came up with a list. I stored it all in my head. I don’t remember the entire list, but here are some of the things I came up with – some of the reasons why you maybe do not like me as much as you once did, or why you maybe never liked me at all:
I can be far too long-winded in my articles.
I talk about myself too much in my articles.
I’m too opinionated.
I’m not opinionated enough.
I don’t think about others’ sensitivities when writing my articles.
I don’t explain advanced statistics enough.
I explain advanced statistics too much.
I talk too much about DFS mistakes and not enough about DFS successes.
I am not on Twitter enough.
Too many other people like my writing, which makes it too mainstream to like my writing.
I’ve (gasp!) been wrong before on some of my recommendations.
I sometimes write long intros that readers are, apparently, contractually obliged to read.
I take jabs at readers who complain about long intros by saying things like, “I sometimes write long intros that readers are, apparently, contractually obliged to read.
I do all these things within these overlong intros.
I rely too much on cleverness in my articles at times and not enough on content.
I’m really not even all that clever.
No one actually cares that I’m a good writer, because all they want is DFS meat.
My core “DFS meat” articles are my Tuesday/Friday articles, which are only available to Incentives members.
My other core “DFS meat” content is contained in my RotoAcademy courses, which must also be paid for.
I include not-so-subtle plugs for RotoGrinders Incentives and for my RotoAcademy courses in my articles.
I can’t get people to purchase my ‘Taking Advantage of Coors Field’ RotoAcademy course, even though it may be the most valuable course I wrote.
I spend too much time, in my personal life, focused on DFS, and not enough time focused on my fiction reading and writing.
I use my intros to start talking about things that only apply to me, and that most readers do not care about at all – such as the low sales numbers for my Coors Field course and my fiction reading and writing.
I think anyone actually cares.
I have a platform that others imagine they should have themselves.
I have an awesome life, in which I get paid to write about DFS, and get to play DFS, and get to travel a lot, and get to do what I love (writing) for a living.
This doesn’t change the fact that my mind is a muddled place, and loving me is complicated – for both myself, and for you.
Those are just some of the reasons why you may not care for me all that much.
But here’s the great thing: Even if you do not care for me, there is still a lot that you can learn from my writing. After all (as I said): I spend too much time focused on DFS – and this means that I have a massive amount of DFS knowledge and information.
What’s that? You have a massive amount of DFS knowledge and information as well? That’s great! But here’s something that is even more great: There is a very good chance that some of the knowledge I have does not overlap with the knowledge you have.
This means that there are probably areas of DFS in which I could learn from you. But it also means there are areas of DFS in which you can learn from me (which is more pertinent to you, because what do you really care whether or not I am learning from you? – all that matters for your bankroll is whether or not you are learning from others, and screw whether or not those “others” are learning from you).
I’m not digging into any stats today, because we’ve covered a lot over the last couple weeks that is still carrying weight at the moment (heck, we’ve covered a lot throughout the season that is still carrying weight at the moment), but what I do want to talk about is the fact that the cornerstone of your DFS “career” should be a continuous accumulation of knowledge, information, and learning.
Look: Maybe you like me, maybe you don’t. Maybe you agree with some of the thoughts and ideas I present in my articles, and maybe you disagree with other thoughts and ideas I present. That’s not what matters; what matters is that you should read my thoughts whenever you can, and you should aim to learn what you can. When you read something and disagree with it? – awesome! This can be just as valuable as reading something and agreeing with it.
But also, it doesn’t end there. You should be reading as many articles as you can – every single week (heck, every single day!). And not just DFS-specific articles, either.
You should be reading Rotoworld’s player blurbs every single day. You should be reading Fangraphs articles every single day. You should be reading articles from various beat writers around the country every single day. You should be reading RotoAcademy courses and the RotoGrinders forums. And you should be reading the thoughts of lots of different DFS analysts in order to have a full spectrum of perspectives to learn from and build from.
By doing this, you will continue to grow in knowledge. After all, at its core, DFS is a sport that pits you against your peers; like the Patriots “more probably than not” deflating footballs and Brady “more probably than not being generally aware” that it was happening, you want to gain any edge over your opponents you can gain – no matter how small or seemingly insignificant this edge is on the surface. The more knowledge you gain, the greater this edge will be.
Or, if you don’t have the time to do all that every single day, you can keep reading my articles. After all, I do all these things myself, and I always aim to transfer this knowledge and information to readers.
Hey – you may not like me all that much (and there are plenty of reasons to feel that way, to be certain). But you don’t have to love me in order to use me for the knowledge I disseminate. Good thing, too – because, truly: Loving me is complicated. If I could wish good things upon you, I would wish for you to not have to learn what loving me is like (and if you think it’s tough sometimes to read my articles, try living inside my head for a day!) – but whether you like me or not, I’ll keep giving you my knowledge.
Put up with me – that’s all you have to do. Put up with as many writers (DFS writers, beat writers, analysts, etc.) as you can. Love them or not, they’ll help you grow your bankroll. And that’s at least one thing that is not all that complicated to love at all.