The Fantasy Grout: Week 12 – Q&A
If you don’t get your question answered, it’s because you didn’t send it. Neither did anyone else. You guys sure know how to make The Grout feel loved! We’ll still make it work, but I’ll remind you of this. If these questions don’t tickle your fancy, to quote a Grout fave, Dave Dameshek, “I didn’t do this to you, YOU did this to you. Let it begin!!!!!!!”
Q: How was your trip, honey? – My Mom
A: Loud, drunken, and incredibly entertaining. Thanks to Cam, Cal, Riley, and the rest of RotoGrinders for having TeamKillaB out to the Nashville Headquarters. Three observations:
1) While I’m not sure it was even Cam’s intention to treat on Friday night, I can confirm the hangover that the 8x-Ginsu-Ninja-Bock from the Flying Saucer fueled was worth every penny. Also, it was delicious. Thanks again!
2) Nashville, rather than adding walls, just counts on the masses of people to act as sound buffers, which is why bars there think it’s perfectly fine to have two simultaneous acts playing so close together that they can share a spittoon!
3) The band Alabama singing “If you’re gonna play in Texas, you’ve gotta have a fiddle in the band,” feels a little like the state of North Dakota advertising on Minnesota radio that they’ve got less regulation and lower business taxes.
Q: Did you know if you hold “CTRL” while clicking a link, it opens a new tab/window rather than directing you away from the RotoGrinders.com page? – The IT Guy At Your Company
A: Yes, but I’m doing something here. Can you come back later?
Q: So, are you going to talk about DFS at all? – BIGPIMPSHADY
A: Yep, just need some good questions.
Q: What happens when you have a tie score in DFS? – Someone Asking A Good Question
A: What a coincidence that you’d ask, as TeamKillaB just had it happen in two 3-Mans on DraftKings this week. Ostey not only nailed our cash line-up, but he even had the running backs and wide receivers in the right order. Given that we had a mobile war room this week, it’d be easy to be suspicious. Really though, no person is smart enough to steal it, yet dumb enough to deploy it against us, the nut-worst use of the line-up. Oh, and the answer is, for a $20 3-Man with $54 to first, you each take home $27.
Q: Why doesn’t FanDuel label their various matrix games with which Sunday game set they are? – Someone Else Asking a Good Question
A: Because forcing you to guess, and then requiring three clicks to navigate back if/when you guess wrong, is better.
Q: Running Back: The New Tight End? – A Third Good-Question-Asker
A: (shuttering) We can only hope not. This week, only seven backs scored and only five of fourteen games featured a running back touchdown, which is especially shocking when you consider two games featured an O- or D-Lineman scoring on offense (and either doing the Haka or practicing jumping jacks while pooping). Given that it is A Passing League (copyright: Talking Heads), it could lead one to believe running backs are an endangered species. On the other hand, Melvin Gordon.
Q: What’s with Left Turn, Red Arrows? – Someone Who Is Sick Of Talking About Football
A: Here’s The Grout’s working theory: With budgets tight and money short, people started getting creative. Some guy offered up “Instead of teaching every single teenager in Driver’s Ed how to yield to on-coming traffic at a stoplight, we’ll just add an extra arrow light at every intersection.” If you’re curious of the other bright ideas that guy has had, this sign stands out. Thanks for clarifying. Do I get two tickets if I roll through?
Q: When are you coming to bed? – My Wife
A: As soon as I actually get to the players, Schnookums. I guess this is as good a time as any.
For those keeping track, Gang Grout posted a 3.875 PT/$K in Week 11, while the winner of the Millionaire Maker this week, DaveTheChamp posted just a 4.673 PT/$K, with three Grout eligible players, one in the Gang.. Not all players can be cornerstones; to find the players which serve as the goop to hold those stones together, look no further to find The Fantasy Grout.
Quarterbacks
Last week, 17 of 28 starting QBs were Grout-priced, at $6,500-or-below. This week, DK hasn’t really answered the call for tighter pricing, as only 14 starting quarterbacks are out of our price range, leaving 16 from which to choose. People say the Eagles winning with Mark Sanchez speaks to Chip Kelly’s greatness, but to me, it is the fact that Nick Foles, broken collarbone and all, still costs $6,600 on DraftKings.
Kyle Orton v NYJ, $5,600 – Now that he finally ponied up for a razor, what do we call him? The Quarterback Formally Known As The Neckbeard, or do we just go with a symbol? Either way, you have to love the home match-up against the Jets, who ironically can’t stop anything through the air. The QFKATN likely gets back the most underrating receiving RB in the NFL, Bully Jackson, to go with the familyless man, Sammy What Kins.
Also, here’s a little trivia for you: Who has a higher DraftKings points-per-game this year, Tony Romo or Orton? Ha! No one gets it. It was Romo, but by less than six-tenths of a point per game. Substitute Matthew Stafford in for Romo though, and the answer is Orton. Who better to win a $Million in Movember with than The Neckbeard Emeritus?
Left in the Bucket
Colin Kaepernick v WAS, $6,500 – If the QFKATN can throw for 20.32 against Washington, what will Kap do to them?
Running Backs
When it comes to backs, DK tightened the screws a bit. Last week only 10 backs were above the $5,500 line. This week, 14 starters are unavailable to us, as well as a couple Gang Grout alumni, J. Hill & A. Blue. In the Grout’s opinion, having stricter pricing is the best practice, and as Allen The Answer Iverson once said, “We’re talking about practice.”
Trent Richardson v JAC, $4,900 – It’s like Darren McFadden broke the Recommend-Bad-Running-Backs barrier a couple weeks ago, and now it’s not even a challenge to lead with Mr. 3.3 YPC. This is the closest the Grout will ever come to recommending Andrew Luck though, as his use of backs in the red zone would make Donovan McNabb proud. Also, as a back-up, before Ahmad Bradshaw broke his ankle, Richardson was averaging 2.5 receptions per game. Expect that to rise as the starter. And, he’s playing Jacksonville. What’s that? I should have lead with that? You’re probably right.
Tre Mason at SD, $4,200 – Coaches are simple creatures. The former Auburn Tiger touched the ball 30 times, and the Rams got a big win. The only thought going through Jeff Fisher’s head this week is “I’ve got to let Mason touch the ball 30 times again.”
Also, the Tiger-to-Tiger thing from last week, that Jeremy Hill pulled off, is less and less in impressive. There’s three Tigers teams in the SEC alone, and 12 in the NCAA (LSU, Auburn, & Missouri, plus Clemson, Grambling State, Jackson State, Memphis, Pacific, Princeton, Savannah State, Tennessee State, and Texas Southern). Also, if you want to extrapolate to felines in general, there’s 12 Tigers, 9 Wildcats, 8 Panthers, 6 Cougars, 5 Lions, and 4 Bobcats. Catfight!
Isaiah Crowell at ATL, $3,800 – Browns Running Back Roulette, unlike Russian Roulette, allows you to blow a metaphorical Fantasy hole, right in the center of your line-up and live to play another day. Last week, West blew up on me, but with one back now out of the chamber (Tate), I’m back to pull the BRBR trigger again!
First off, they play the Falcons. (See, learning from my mistakes.) Also, with the value of Josh Gordon, um, baked into the offense, it helps Crowell in total plays, plays in close, and plays with a less run-focused defense. Expect it to go well for Crowell.
Left in the Bucket
Jerick McKinnon v GB, $5,600 – They have to play 4 quarters, regardless of the score. It’s a rule.
Joique Bell at NE, $4,900 – How many times does Reggie Bush have to get hurt before they realize who the *Bell*cow is?
Darren Sproles v TEN, $4,500 – Simply more effective than McCoy, every time he touches the ball.
Wide Receivers
This marks two weeks in a row that we’ve got 30+ wide receivers too costly to play ($5,000), which is fine. See Heads, Talking above. It’s not like our ability to fill a Grout line-up is in Jeopardy:
Alex Trebek: Answer: Many.
Contestant: What is the number of nice Fantasy Grout wide receiver options this week on DraftKings?
Keenan Allen v STL, $4,900 – If, after last season’s red zone TD barrage, you had Allen morphing into a high reception, low touchdown guy, I’d like to request to see that “Gray’s Sports Almanac” your Grandpa Biff left you. He’s second in targets per game over the last five weeks. Do almanacs use the term “Target Monster?”
Eric Decker at BUF, $4,600 – Also, in the Top 25 of targets per game, the last five weeks, it is coming this week. He’s too big, too strong, and too talented to let the Jets’ offense hold him down. Also, playing in a city that just received four feet of snow, give me the guy from Cold Spring, Minnesota. He probably lived on #NarrativeStreet.
Kenny Stills v BAL, $4,200 – Anybody who is not Marques Coltson! There’s one less Cook in the New Orleans kitchen, with Brandin “with an ‘i’” hitting the IR this week. Spread and running-in-close are still problems there though, even at home, where the offense hums. I’ll take the guy who can get value on a single play. Also, is “Stills” a better surname for a photographer or a beer brewer?
Left in the Bucket
Wes Welker v MIA, $4,200 – Either Manny Sanders or Orange Julius sitting would give him a valuable bump. The real question is after all these years, if his tank is on, um, “E”.
Jarvis Landry at DEN, $4,400 – You might not have seen his name on The Bucket List last Friday, but it was there Wednesday.
Steve Smith Sr at NO, $4,800 – For a guy that allegedly takes all slights personally, I hope someone tweets him that Torrey Smith now has a higher salary.
NOT LISTED: Justin Hunter at PHI, $3,800 – Thanks to @jeffreywmccrary for his support at my weakest point.
Tight Ends
Don’t get me wrong, the tight end position is slowly becoming the new kicker. Last week though, credit where it’s due, there was some production. Nine total TE TDs, trailed RBs by only three. Despite that, there are only five non-*Grout* tight ends ($4,500 or less), and one of them, Julius Thomas, might not play.
Also, let me warn you now. Kyle Rudolph being excluded from FanDuel last week confused him so greatly that he didn’t get a target. Will the same thing happen to Marcedes Lewis, excluded from DK this week? The answer is yes. Yes, it will.
Charles Clay at DEN, $4,000 – Really you’re just looking for a score, so pick the guy tied for 8th in end zone targets this year, among ALL receivers of the football. Now, time for another little game we like to call Name The Subset of Fans Who Root for This Player. It’s a working title. This week, your options:
Door #1: Clay Pride!
Door #2: Claymates
Door #3: PayClay
Left in the Bucket
Larry Donnell v DAL, $3,900 – The list of teams who have given up more receptions to tight ends than Dallas is non-existent.