Daily Fantasy, Daily Life: Volume XXXII - Plenty Of Time
I was watching the Swolecast last week and chuckled at Davis Mattek’s admission that he drafted a best ball team while out buying a shirt.
I mean, that’s crazy, but I get it. Tis the season to be maxing out best ball teams, especially now that the waters are getting a little … fishy? I mean, I was just in an Underdog Best Ball Mania III draft where Jalen Hurts went 1:6.
So yeah. Gotta get those drafts in.
For me, time is really tight. I’m headed out of the country for two weeks this coming Saturday, which means I’m missing a giant two-week drafting window (not to mention not being able to collect free money following psufans2’s pre-season DFS picks).
But while I’m still stateside, you better believe I’m going to spend virtually every non-work minute (and some work minutes, if I’m being fully honest) drafting best ball teams across Underdog, DraftKings and Drafters.
“But Jeff,” I can hear you saying, what about me? I have too many responsibilities and can’t find the time to draft best ball teams!”
Have no fear; you can always squeeze in a draft, and to prove it, here’s a fistful of questionable places to draft a best ball team, complete with excuses should someone take offense to your impeccable timing.
- While pleading the fifth during your hours-long deposition: I mean why not, right? If all you’re doing is saying “I plead the fifth” 440 or so times, you might as well use the time to take a few fliers on Will Fuller in the 17th round, right? Of course, if you get “caught” and are asked what the heck you’re doing, just throw out another “I plead the fifth” and you’ve covered.
- At your Aunt Gertie’s funeral: Funerals can be a drag, right? Why not spice it up with a Mark Andrews and Lamar Jackson contrarian Week 17 correlation with Chase Claypool? And if someone spots you deciding between Amon-Ra St. Brown and JuJu Smith-Schuster with the 56th pick during the eulogy, just say, “Ol’ Gert was a huuuuuuge Lions fan, but JuJu is the ADP play here.”
- During a marriage counseling session: Maybe your wife thinks you spend too much time playing fantasy sports, and as a result, you find yourself sitting across from a marriage counselor talking about things like “feelings.” This is a great time to fire up a best ball draft, because when your wife loses her ever-loving mind because you can’t pass up a Drafters contest that has 11/12 seats filled, you get to say to the counselor, “See? She’s overreacting. All I’m trying to do is take advantage of some overlay.”
- Dinner with the Fergusons: Listen, I like the Fergusons. I find Fred to be an excellent conversationalist with a fine collection of bourbons, and Marge is a wiz in the kitchen and a smile that will knock your socks off. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be running three drafts at once. And if anyone questions why I keep looking at my phone, I’ll just say I’m expecting a text from the babysitter concerning microwave popcorn. The Fergusons will buy it, and my wife will be flummoxed. Fool-proof.
- At my daughter’s dance recital: I mean, I don’t even think my wife would care. Those things are as tedious as hearing someone tell you all about how Isiah Pacheco is still a steal at ADP.
See? Plenty of time and space to draft your best ball teams. Whatcha waiting for?